22 years ago today, I was reborn.

I don’t know what your journey looks like, but mine has been a beautiful and messy mosaic. Virtually every part tells its own story, some of them tragic and unsettling, until you step back to see the whole.

Some people seem to have clean stories. ‘I was lost. Jesus found me. My life has never been the same. My struggle was over.‘

That’s a wonderful story. It’s just not my story.

While my life was certainly never the same, over these 22 years I have found myself in some precarious situations. My journey has been one of wrestling, running, and resisting God.

It wasn’t clean and neat. In the contest of wills, mine seemed to be winning most of the time. There were some times in that journey I didn’t look very much like Jesus. I spent more than a decade running from God’s calling to pastor. I was saved. I was disobedient. I was miserable – all the while trying to convince myself that I wasn’t.

Even after God had finally chiseled away enough of me to make room for Him and I let go of the reigns, I had a mountain of guilt to deal with for even being in that position.

Here’s the takeaway.

It’s through the wrestling that God brought me ultimate peace and is shaping me into who He desires me to be.

It’s the running that finally brought me full circle back to a Father who loves me.

It’s through my own resistance God forged my spirit into willing obedience because I know His ways are best.

And guess what? It’s not over.

I still find myself wrestling over issues that should be settled in my heart. And so I will. And my Daddy, with all His might and power and strength, gently and lovingly allows me to punch myself out. Then in my fatigue and defeat quietly picks me up, dusts me off, and teaches me!

He speaks life into me and says ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you‘, ‘My ways are higher than your ways‘, ‘Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you‘. And I find comfort. And hope. And the strength to take another step.

And so today, I say ‘happy birthday to me. Thank you Jesus for redeeming me, calling me, and never giving up on me!‘

How about you? What has your journey been like?

Shaky Beginnings

This is Topher in a hospital bed at MUSC as he recovers from open heart surgery. This was our life in 2001. We spent a good portion of Topher’s first year in hospitals. Many of the people we met during those early months did not offer an encouraging prognosis. We were told (by others Down’s parents and some medical professionals) to expect this as the normal routine.

Now to be fair, we’ve had our share of scares…from pneumonia to staff infection to several choking episodes. His 1st grade teacher actually saved his life by performing the Heimlich when his airway was completely blocked by a Chick-fil-a biscuit (thank you Casey!)

For the first couple of years, we experienced a ton of medical concerns we haven’t had to walk through with our other 2 children.

When you’re a new parent, you really don’t know what the future will hold for your child. This is true for any child – and especially true when there is a disability with wide-ranging level of severity involved.

Thankful Hearts

The first year was really the only ‘abnormal’ year we encountered with Topher. Seriously.

By God’s grace, he is tremendously healthy! On top of that, he functions at a very high level for kids with his particular disability. We have met a multitude of families that face much greater challenges than we do with our son. And for that we are immeasurably grateful to God.

People laugh (or look at us strangely) when we say this: there are literally days that go by that we never even consider the fact that Topher has a disability. Seriously! We ‘know’ he does, but it just isn’t the ‘thing’ we think of when we look at him.

Only God Knows the Future

We don’t know what we’re facing in the future with Topher. Will he graduate high school on his own? Will he go on to college? Will he be able to perform adequately at a job? Is he going to be able to live on his own?

We see potential in him that he has yet to meet. He has so much more room to grow. Who knows what the picture will look like when he fully spreads his wings?

When we look at him today, it certainly looks like he has the potential and capacity to do even greater things than we could ever imagine! We know that God certainly can! Eph 3:20 says that God is ‘able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think‘! That’s a lot!

Whatever Topher may go on to achieve, we only want him to reach his fullest potential in Christ.

Can any of us hope for more than that?

What is special anyway?

We have three children. They’re all special. We have an analytical personality, a strong willed child, and a child who needs more affirmation than others. They are creative, sassy, colorful, and very headstrong. Those are just our girls!

The point is, every child is unique. Every life is precious and special in that they were created by God for His purpose.

Just like Topher.

People balk when they hear Tabitha and I say this, but it’s true. We have, at times, had to remind ourselves that Topher has Down syndrome.

It’s not that he isn’t developmentally delayed. He is.

It’s not that we are in denial. We’re not.

And it’s not like we aren’t facing the challenge head on. We are.

It’s that we don’t treat or view him any differently than we do our other 2 children. He’s not ‘our son with Down syndrome‘ – he’s just…”Our Son“!

We motivate, teach, and discipline him like we do our other kids – in the way they learn and receive correction best.

The Unparalleled Beauty of Unique

We don’t think of Topher as special. We see him as unique. One of a kind. No other like him.

Each life is created by God and for God. I believe John Piper said ‘God is most satisfied in us when we are most satisfied in Him’ (or something like that). We do our best to teach our kids that their intrinsic value is not based on ability or talent. They possess the Imago Dei – they are the image bearers of God.

Not only are they created in the image of God, but He has a specific plan for each one of them…a plan already prepared that He has specifically equipped them to pursue.

‘For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.‘ – Eph 2:10

When we embrace that truth, and release it through responding to the gospel, we find that we are all unique. We do our best to lead all of our children to pursue and fulfill that calling, based on their unique identity in Christ – not in an ability or a disability.

Topher is no exception.

Ok…so maybe he steals his sisters’ hearts…

But can you blame them?

I read a quote today from Seth Godin that powerfully struck me: ‘If failure is not an option, then neither is success‘.

While it’s true that some people have a more risk averse nature than others, in the spiritual realm, the removal of failure requires the removal of faith.

If I know all the answers, I have dotted every I, crossed every T, eliminated any possibility of the unknown, mastered laying the bat on every curve ball…then why do I need God?

After two years of church planting, my tolerance for the unknown has deepened remarkably. I have grown uncannily comfortable with the ‘what if?’

The Bible tells us without faith it is impossible to please God (Heb 11:6). Why then do we spend so much time trying to address every variable and possible outcome, once we know God has called us to take a step of faith?

What has God called you to do that fear of failure is stopping you from pursuing? Could it be that you are really trying to ‘solve’ God out of the equation?

Not a Special Club

The first thing Tabitha and I began to notice as we began our lives with Topher was this very interesting sub-culture that exists for children with any kind of disability. There are support groups, play groups, focus groups, groups for dads, groups for moms, groups for people with multiple disabilities, and so on…and so on. Basically, if you can think up a name for a special needs support group – there probably is one.

Now don’t get me wrong, we needed someone to help educate us about Down’s and walk us through the process of acclimation for therapies and early intervention and that kind of stuff.

What we didn’t need was to immerse ourselves in this sub-culture where people seemed to find their identity in their child’s disability.

Eat the Fish, Spit Out the Bones

We determined to apply the principle of ‘eat the fish, spit out the bones‘. Essentially, we took the good and learned all we could, but refused to become ‘The family with the Down syndrome child‘.

We didn’t want to be a part of a clique. We weren’t looking to make a bunch of new friends we only had a ‘special’ child in common with.

Listen, I’m supremely proud of who my child is and I want him to achieve his full potential in life. We just never wanted him to grow up in a vacuum – some sort of Down syndrome bubble – devoid of the social structure and interaction he will need to learn to navigate if he was ever going to live independently.

We have also made some amazing connections with some wonderful people who happen to share some of our story. But these relationships are the fruit of simply doing life and not because of some choreographed group exercise.

Some of the people we met did not know life outside of their diagnosis.

Their disability defined them.

Topher’s True Identity

Topher’s true identity is not found in his disability.

And to be fair, it is a very real disability. Nothing has demonstrated this more clearly than watching his 17 month younger sister catch up and then blow by him developmentally.

Topher finds his identity the only place any of us truly can.

In Jesus Christ.

The Bible tells us “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you” (Jer 1:5) and “you formed my inner parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:13-14).

Topher is exactly who God designed him to be – quite literally down to the very last chromosome. I mean at the genetic level!

He is God’s masterpiece (Eph 2:10). And guess what?

You are too.

Topher has everything he needs to become ALL that God has purposed for him to be and do.

I have already said, I want Topher to achieve his full potential in life – and I do! The only way that doesn’t get perverted is by equipping him to pursue God’s plan in life and seeking to find his identity in Jesus and not his disability.

We would all do well to practice some of this. We teach our children ‘you can be anything you want to be‘ – and that’s simply not true. But you can be everything God designed you to be…

…and that’s SO much better!

I’d like you to meet the Lewis family. There is me, Tabitha, Marybeth (15), Topher (10), and Gracie (9).

We are a normal family.

Well…

Sort of…

As normal as any family of 5 I suppose.

The Birth

Our story goes like this. We were a family of 3 when Topher came along. Topher’s older sister (Marybeth) was 4 when he was born. Tabitha and I wanted to have kids closer together, but we were coming off of 2 miscarriages.

Tab’s pregnancy was very normal and otherwise uneventful. None of our tests showed any abnormalities. Topher’s femur measured a little shorter than normal, but hey, it’s not like his Dad has been dunking any basketballs lately! We, like most parents, were expecting a happy, healthy baby.

When the day arrived, we went to the hospital and started our pre-game routine for all Lewis baby deliveries: the whole family gathering, Tab on a Pitocin drip, me downing an entire Pepperoni Lover’s Pizza from Pizza Hut. I feel for women who struggle with labor. My wife has never gone through a “hard” labor (easy for me to say, right?) She was made for birthing babies. 3 children and she has pushed a total of 9 or 10 times – total! We breezed through the delivery.

He was here!

1st night, no issues.

2nd  day, no issues.

We would have gone home on day 2, but we were allowed to stay an extra day because Topher was having a little difficulty breast feeding and the lactation specialist couldn’t make it by the room. That would turn out to be a very good thing!

During the 2nd night after he was born, Topher entered into heavy breathing distress in our room and his 02 saturation dropped dangerously low. The nurses at first brought him oxygen, then ultimately took him to the nurses station to keep a closer eye on him. It seemed like time stopped.

Our Diagnosis

The next morning, red eyed and weary, my wife and I waited nervously for Topher’s pediatrician to make his way to us. When he proceeded to tell us that some of the hospital staff (though he did not agree) had noticed some subtle features of Down syndrome, my wife and I just stared blankly. We then informed him that our son was not the Down syndrome child, but the one with the breathing difficulty.

That’s when he told us about Topher’s heart condition.

I don’t remember many of the details over the next few days. I do remember that because of the questionable and half hearted way his doctor approached the diagnosis, we were dealing with a situation where we thought there was a 60% chance our son did not have Down’s. We were in some kind of limbo with our son in the NICU for a week.

That is, until we met with his cardiologist. Dr. Ben Horne was going over the details of Topher’s heart defect and made some kind of comment about kids with Down’s. I was quick to point out that we didn’t know for sure that was his diagnosis – we were waiting on his genetic testing to come back. Dr. Horne looked me squarely in the eyes, put his hand on my shoulder, and said ‘Your son has Down syndrome. You need to accept that so we can focus on his heart condition.’

Bam!

There it was. Like a hand grenade dropped in my soul!

Different Struggles

My wife and I had very different struggles in those early days. She had a harder time with his heart condition but accepted his genetic diagnosis almost immediately. I was less concerned about his heart because they knew how to fix that and even said if you had to pick a heart defect, this would be the one you would want to have.

But I was devastated about his Down’s.

I am embarrassed and angered by some of the thoughts I had during that time…but I had them. I mourned the death of an idea I had – a dream for what my son would grow up to be and do.

On top of that, I knew absolutely nothing about Down’s. The total sum of my knowledge on the subject wouldn’t have filled a thimble.

Man, were we in for some surprises!

Heart Surgery

At 4 month old, Topher had a procedure at MUSC to repair an atrial ventricular canal defect in his heart. Instead of 4 separate chambers in his heart, he essentially had one. This caused fluid to back up in his lungs and cause congestive heart failure.

In the months leading up to this, we spent another 30 days in the hospital when Topher contracted pneumonia. OK, that was pretty scary – heart and lung issue complicated by an illness that attacks the lungs?? The nurses and hospital staff were AMAZING during this time! We actually moved into the hospital into one of the NICU hotel rooms they have in limited supply. What a blessing!

When we went down to Charleston for the heart surgery, we were told to prepare for 4-6 weeks. This was the first time we caught a glimpse of what life with Topher was going to be like.

The entire round trip, surgery, and recovery – driveway to driveway – took 6 days! The top pediatric cardiologist in the nation at the time said he had never seen a recovery like that!

As surgeons and physicians were performing heart surgery on my son, the Great Physician was doing some work of His own in our hearts.

The Classroom of the Divine

There is really nothing that can prepare you to see your 16 week old child with tubes protruding everywhere, breathing on a respirator, bloated from surgical anesthesia.

What I know is this. Just as Topher learned the comfort of his Daddy’s grip in the recovery room, I was learning to trust and cling tightly to my heavenly Dad.

You see, Tabitha and I have learned many, many things over the course of our journey with Topher – our whole family has!

What’s our greatest takeaway? It would have to be that God meant it in His word when He said that ALL THINGS (good things, bad things, in-between things, things we don’t understand) work together FOR GOOD (the best possible outcome for His glory and our ultimate benefit) for His children (Romans 8:28).

Even when we can’t see what He’s doing. In the times we don’t know how it will end up. Especially when it seems like chaos is winning. He’s still in control! We need only look to the cross to know that God reigns even when it seems like darkness abounds.

Some of the deepest, purest theology is contained in the words of the little children’s prayer many of us recited when we were young: God is great. God is good. (Borrowed from a book titled Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick).

He is great. All-powerful. All-knowing. Sovereign. Reigning. At all times. In all places. In every situation. There is no time ever that what is taking place is not under His purview and oversight.

He is so good. Holy. Righteous. Loving. Compassionate. Just. Perfectly complete in all of these attributes. Not defined by my definition of these words but defining Himself the meaning of perfect love and righteousness.

This is true for me. This is true for my family. This is true for you.

I hope this brings you some comfort in whatever situation you are facing today. If you belong to Him, all things are ultimately working together for good.

If you don’t belong to Him, perhaps today is the day to surrender your life, receive His grace, and become a fully committed follower of Jesus Christ.

Our Journey

I have been a father to Christopher (Topher) Michael Lewis for over 10 years. December 9, 2000 we had a beautiful baby boy. December 11, 2000 we learned that Topher had a heart condition that was only found in Down syndrome children.

Our lives were forever changed.

Recently, I ran across a new blog from Rick and Abbie Smith who are walking through some of the same things we did over a decade ago. Noah’s Dad dot com has been a huge inspiration to many people and as I read their story of Noah’s birth (it’s worth you time, but grab some Kleenex), it forced me to ask a question.

Why have I had so little to say about our journey with Topher?

I did a search on my blog and you can see that in 4 years of blogging there are only 2 posts that say anything about Down syndrome. One for Topher’s 7th and 8th birthdays respectively.

What’s up with that?

Support Systems

First, let me say that I am a huge fan of sites like Noah’s dad that offer insight into the experience. I wish there was that kind of availability when Tabitha and I were beginning our journey. For one thing, blogging was not a word in 2000. It would have resulted in one of those red, squiggly underlines from your spell check.

Secondly, every single situation, every child, and each disability is unique. No two are the same.

There is no such thing as normal. What is normal for us may be highly unusual for another family.

That’s why these kinds of sites and support systems are desperately needed. When we left the hospital with Topher, we left with the hospital with far more questions than answers and, quite frankly, the standard line people recited, ‘God only gives special kids to special people‘ was wearing thin by day 2! (I almost punched a well meaning deacon’s wife in the throat. If you’re reading this…I’m sorry.)

Thankfully, we did talk to A LOT to people who could relate and that was remarkably helpful. Even more so if we had been able to gain online access to share stories with other families.

Our Outlook

I have a son with Down syndrome. Even so, there are days that go by that the fact of Topher’s diagnosis NEVER crosses my mind. Seriously!

So, in one sense, I am not surprised that I have had little to say about our journey with Down syndrome.

But, we have an experience and a platform to share what God has shown, taught, and done through our walk with Topher. To keep it to ourselves would be selfish in some sense. Many of the people in our lives never get to see the beautiful, tiny ways God demonstrates his nature through our miracle son. So, Tabitha and I are going to begin to share more, to write more about this topic.

Why so little?

On the other hand, I think a lot can be learned from some of the reasons we probably haven’t written more before now. As I have wrestled with the question of why we haven’t had more to say, I have boiled it down to a few thoughts.

Here are some reasons we haven’t been more vocal about Down syndrome or our journey:

1) Our lives have not been defined by Down syndrome

2) We don’t treat Topher differently

3) We are blessed with a high functioning child

4) Early intervention works

I will be writing a follow up post on each of these areas over the next couple of weeks. If you are a family walking through this journey I hope they are helpful to you. If you know someone that is experiencing the unfolding of this kind of news, I hope it will give you some insight.

Above all, I hope we can see the glory of God revealed in the most surprising ways. I hope we can learn together that God really doesn’t make mistakes. I hope we can see that even when things seem dark and answers distant, the God of this universe is holding you in the palm of His hands. I hope it stirs your soul to know that Jesus knows what it is to walk where you are walking.

The verdict is in. God is good.

Even when we can’t see how.

He’s still good.

Transparency

Just like this picture, when something is transparent you don’t have to wonder what’s behind it. Like a glass that let’s you see the clarity of the water you’re drinking. When it’s a person who is transparent, you get a glimpse of the stuff that’s really inside.

Sometimes it’s messy and ugly.

Often it reveals pain and tension from the soul.

Transparency vs. Hypocrisy

I have the privilege of spending the week with a group of high school students for youth camp. I have been amazed at the openness of the students. I am rooming with a group of about 20 high school junior and senior guys – and I am blown away at the transparency they are showing.

Well, most of them anyway.

Some of them are actually playing the part pretty well. It’s like they are going for an Oscar for best actor! They know all the right words to say and which parts to emphasize. They have done it many times before – probably at camp or another event similar to this. They speak the words but they are void of any real meaning. They lack the ability to produce life change because they are external motions.

Transparency is driven from within. For believers, it’s the internal force of the Holy Spirit leading us to open ourselves up.

Some of these guys get it. Someone forgot to tell them that they weren’t supposed to be real about the struggles they have with pride, and lust, and addiction. Somebody forgot to tell them that they won’t get picked for the “best kid” at camp award. But that’s just it. I don’t think they care. God is stirring in their hearts and they are simply responding. Being honest that they don’t have it all figured out.

That’s transparency.

It’s refreshing.

It’s biblical.

The Death of Transparency

James writes this: ‘Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.‘ (James 5:16)

This, like most commands of Scripture, does not come with an expiration date.

Yet something peculiar seems to happen around the age of 25 – give or take. About the final break on car insurance, it’s like the genetic coding for transparency mutates and moves to the off position.

I think it’s mostly fear that keeps us from being open and honest with others. The fear of being hurt or rejected. The fear of being misunderstood. Fear is not from God and can be overcome as we yield to and trust in the Holy Spirit to guide us.

I think we also hold things close to the vest for another – potentially deadly – reason. P-R-I-D-E. That ugly tool of the enemy that assaults us so often. Many times, we don’t share openly – even with those closest to us – because we don’t want them to know the awful and beautiful truth. We don’t have it all together!!!

So here’s your challenge from a group of high school students at Camp Summit this week: be transparent. Open yourself up. Share and confide your struggles, fears, and inadequacies with another believer this week.

You may just find the encouragement you need.

“Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?” – Galatians 3:3

This is a question I have asked myself at least a thousand times. Why am I so foolish? Why do I frequently try to earn what is already mine?

Our Nature

We have an insatiable desire to value ourselves. It may manifest itself in selfishness, jealousy, self-aggrandizing, greed, or even lust. These are all slivers of a larger pie – PRIDE! The early church leader Augustine said pride is the mother pregnant with all other sin.

C.S. Lewis reminds us that if not for pride, the devil would not be the devil.

At the end of the day, we seek to feel good about ourselves (often by comparing ourselves to other people) in an attempt to convince ourselves that God should love us because we are not THAT bad!

Christian Pride

Those two words don’t really go together. Sort of like ‘vegetarian meatball’! It’s what we call an oxymoron in English where two opposing words are placed in juxtaposition to each other.  The words “Christian” and “pride” don’t go together, yet all too often we find ourselves demonstrating this frustrating behavior.

Here’s the fallacy we buy into:

“If I behave better, God will love me more.”

Very few of us would make that statement aloud, but many of us operate under the pressure of this practically. We live under the crushing reality that we don’t ever and can’t ever measure up.

The Solution

So what’s the answer?

For the true follower of Christ, recognize the weakness of your flesh and embrace the fact that Jesus bought and paid for your redemption when you were ‘dead in your trespasses and sins‘. He loves you right now and he can’t love you any more. He loves the you of today – not some future version of you! Not the you 5 or 10 or 30 years from now that has it all figured out.

When you realized that Jesus didn’t accept you because you were all nice and shiny, it frees you up to lean into that truth and ‘be transformed by the renewal of your mind‘. As Paul said, you started out by the Spirit. How can you keep trying to perfect yourself by the flesh?

Knock it off! Quit being so foolish.

“…when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son to me, in order that I might preach him among the Gentiles…” – Galatians 1:15-16a

One of the most common questions I hear as a pastor has to do with people seeking purpose in their lives. Actually, it usually comes as a statement, but it points to a bigger question. It goes something like this:

“I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing!”

Ever felt that way?

On a very basic level, God has designed each of us with an ultimate purpose. This purpose never changes and contains the full measure and totality of God’s plan for your life. Do you know what it is?

You were created to bring God glory.

Simple. Yet complex.

Easy to say. Difficult to apply.

Ultimately unique. Particularly varied.

Your Purpose

I can tell you with authority about your ultimate purpose, because that’s the purpose of all things in the universe – God’s glory. It really is all about Him! Every fiber, molecule, and particle in all of creation points to the glory of the creator.

But there’s a difference in your ultimate purpose and your specific path. That’s what Paul is so secure about in this passage. He knows what he was born to do. Peter and John too, were absolutely secure in their calling to preach the gospel (Acts 4:19-21). I can relate to that. Sometimes I feel like I will explode if I don’t get the message out God has placed within me.

But that’s not everyone’s specific purpose. We know the church is a body made up of a lot of different parts – all with different specific functions. Some of you would be as out of place if you tried to preach as I would putting on a pair of ballet shoes and attempting an arabesque penchée!

We have to know where we are going before we can choose a path to get us there. Failing to realize our ultimate purpose is God’s glory, keeps us from settling on a particular plan to do that in our lives because we don’t have a clear destination in mind.

The exchange between Alice and the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland sheds light on this (paraphrase):

Alice: Would you tell me please where to go from here?
Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to go.
Alice: I don’t much care where.
Cat: Then it doesn’t matter much which way you go.
Alice: As long as I get somewhere.
Cat: Oh, you’re sure to do that if you walk long enough.

If all you want to do is get somewhere, eventually you will. But we aren’t aiming for somewhere! The opposite of that is true too. If you don’t know where you’re going, then you’re sure to never get there. You have to keep the destination in front of you at all times.

Conflict

Conflict arises when our aim gets skewed in our ultimate purpose. Many times we find ourselves out of position in our particular plans because of this gross error in defining our ultimate purpose:

We make it about our glory – not God’s.

That’s why many people feel so disconnected and why I have the same conversation again and again. We want to substitute our glory for God’s…and that’s not a fair exchange…not even close!

I can’t begin to give an opinion on what your specific plan is in God’s economy. That’s why it’s so important to walk in community with other believers who can affirm the specific gifts evident in your life. Everyone needs encouragement!

We need help in another area also. A community of peers can also caution you from attempting something God never wired you for. The idea that you can do anything you want to do is a huge myth! Just look at some of the people who audition on American Idol.

You can’t do everything. But you can do something. Set your ultimate sights on glorifying God. He’ll clarify the details.

It’s a great place to start.

Unless you were like the guys in the Geico commercial and living under a rock, you are aware that another “firm date” for the return of Jesus has come and gone without distinction. Harold Camping predicted May 21, 2011 as judgment day. A quick Google search of news on Harold Camping will give you some idea of just how big the media frenzy has been - in case you missed it.

Funny but sad

Jokes were plentiful (from myself included) on all the social networking platforms, and there were even “rapture parties” held in jest all around the world. I must admit, I have been fascinated by the cultural phenomenon of this “non”event. It has been enlightening to see how different groups have viewed this:

• Atheists have used it as a rallying cry to point to what they consider the myth of the Bible.
• Camping’s followers are simply devastated.
• Camping has not said a word (as of this writing)
• Bloggers and news media have covered almost every angle.
• Late night TV had plenty of fun with it.
• Most believers are simply embarrassed at another group marginalizing our faith.

What if?

The Bible itself clearly says in Matthew 24 and Mark 13 that heaven and earth will pass away one day, but the angels in Heaven and even Jesus don’t know when that will be – only the Father. Nobody can predict the date. Period.

But what if they accidentally got it right? Better yet, what if Christ returns soon?  Next year? Or next month? Or next Monday?

He could.

One day he will.

We just don’t know when. It’s the timing of his return, not the certainty of it, that is unknown.

Did you, like some in this article, pause for just a moment – not too long…and not with too much sincerity – to consider, what if this is it? What if these guys are right and I only have a few hours, or a few minutes left? Have I stewarded my gifts well? Are there things left unsaid? Relationships I wish were mended? Opportunities to share my faith not attempted?

Embarrassed and inspired

I am both embarrassed by the actions Harold Camping and his followers and inspired by their sincerity and commitment.

I see foolishness on one hand for trying to predict something that is unknowable. But on the other hand, I am moved by the urgency with which they sought to communicate their message.

I am compelled to call out error and warn against the danger of false prophecy and certainly against manipulation of the Bible. Yet I am convicted of my own lackadaisical approach to go into all the world and to earnestly love his appearing.

What can we learn?

1. Harold Camping will give an account. There is a huge difference between Harold Camping and those who followed his message. As a pastor, one of the things I am responsible for is to call out wolves and guard against false teaching. As believers, we are all instructed to test the spirits. Both are in error here. Mr. Camping will give an account for his actions. I do not have a source to prove this, but I would assume he has personally profited off of his predictions with book sales and contributions to Family Radio. Hopefully, he will do what he can to make restitution to the families that liquidated their savings for his cause. For those who followed his message, my prayer is that they would grow in discernment and not let their faith in God (who is unchanging) waiver in the face of a man who has failed in the same way on two specific occasions.

2. People are watching. Please, can we just realize that the world is watching when we name the name of Jesus in our motives!!! Though it may not be on the same scale, people are watching you and me as we live out our pursuit of God’s plan and purpose for our lives. We should be very careful when we use phrases like “God is leading me” or “God told me”. The greater the influence, the more caution should be used.

3. Operate with urgency for the gospel. I read on The Resurgence that we should view Christ’s return as impending rather than immanent. It is a foregone conclusion. It’s going to happen. At a core level, I should operate with the reality that Jesus may come back today…and that should impact my actions with an earnest urgency to stay on mission. These guys were wrong…terribly wrong. But at least they did something. They took a stand. Made a move. I sat on the couch for half the day Saturday! Let’s be passionate about the right things, for the right reasons, in the right ways.

I write this “that [your] hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” – Colossians 2:2-3.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject. What do you think about this? How should the church respond? Where do we go from here?

Time.

Limited. Finite. Precious.

We all struggle with making the decisions on what we try to cram into the 86,400 seconds we get each day. About 25,000 of those fly by while you sleep. Another 28,000 go to your job, if you work. My wife and I average 10,000 seconds dropping off and picking up the kids! You’ll spend about 120 seconds reading this post.

So, if I began to itemize my to do list and tell you all the reasons why my blogging has decreased, one of two things would happen. One, it may immediately remind you of how busy you are and prompt comparative, or maybe even resentful, thoughts about your’s being bigger than mine (your list).  Or, on the off chance my words found a sympathetic ear with you, it would immediately beg the question: so why are you doing it?

I’m so glad you asked!

I need to write. Probably more than I need to do a lot of other things and definitely more than you need to read what I write. Nonetheless, it’s an exercise that I miss and I have purposed to make it a priority again.

I am going to take a different approach to blogging than I have in the past. I am becoming more intentional with the content that I post.

Here’s my commitment: ONE post per week. Specifically, one ‘devotional-type‘ post every week – usually on Thursdays. Additionally, I am planning on sharing periodic thoughts on my journey with church planting, family stuff, and the occasional message specifically for Revolution Church.

Bottom line: I want this blog to become an extension of me. What is God revealing to me in His Word? What is He teaching me along the way? How do I glimpse God in and through my family?

I promise to be transparent and real. Some of the stuff on here may be pretty raw. I do not promise to have all my thoughts flushed out before posting. That’s what editors are for and I don’t have one.

It’s sure to be good for me and my hope is that there will be some nuggets of value for you to walk away with too.

Thanks for investing your 120 seconds. I’ll do my best not to waste them!

“What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” – James 4:14

My nephew had been over and he had this really, really, really cool Lego model of an X-Wing fighter from Star Wars.

I made a big deal out of it with my nephew, and Gracie couldn’t wait to show me what she could do with the toys she got from her Zaxby’s kids meal. She didn’t have the same tools to work with as my nephew, so she couldn’t duplicate his creation.

What she ended up with was several objects randomly clipped together (that were originally intended to build a bicycle) in an effort to form this spaceship with lasers that would shoot in every direction at the same time, with sensors to pick up any enemy ships approaching.

It was AWESOME! As her dad, I was proud of her effort. As an intergalactic spacecraft inspector…well…it left a little to be desired.

I was so proud of her efforts and made a big show of it. She beamed…and then…I showed her how to use the materials she had to build what they were intended to be. She was able to make a bicycle AND a person to ride it. They looked natural and all the pieces fit together – like they were meant to. She lit up when she saw the pieces fit together as they were designed to do.

That’s when it hit me.

God brought this verse to my mind from Eph 2:10 “For we are his workmanship (masterpiece in NLT), created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.“

We spend so much time as believers, trying to build or create our own masterpieces, all the while overlooking the fact that we are already his masterpiece! We waste resources and gifts in an effort to duplicate someone else’s work or mimic an individual we admire, rather than realizing God has declared YOU his handiwork (NIV).

Is he finished yet? I hope not. But if we are his, then we are his to build.

He planned you and what you would become beforehand and just like my daughter learned, when we try to be something other than we were designed to be, we end up looking awkward and out of place.

As our Father, God may smile at our efforts, but I’m certain the desire of his heart is that we embrace who he created us to be – and walk in that!

Who has God created you to be?

We are approaching the 1 year mark since Revolution Church began having weekly services. If you and I sat down last August to discuss what I thought we would look like a year from then, I would have given you some fairly predictable answers. In some naive sincere ways, I think I halfway expected to put a sign out and have to beat people away! Just kidding. Sort of.

This only serves to further reveal the fractured nature of my soul, a soul which craves the praise and approval of man in often unhealthy ways.

Thankfully, we’re not building off of my blueprints! (Matt 16:18)

What has happened has been nothing short of amazing! God has called and assembled a remarkable community of people together who are completely sold out to the vision God has given Revolution.

Most of these people didn’t know each other a year ago. Now they do.

Quite a few weren’t in church. Now they are.

Some were lost and in darkness. Now they are found and walking in the light!

Bottom line…His ways are higher (and better) than our ways. Best advice…we need to lean into (and trust) Him with it ALL! You just might find that it’s a good thing when God doesn’t give you what you want. You might even be relieved when he doesn’t give you something better. He gives us what is best. Every time.

I’m reading through Jeremiah in my personal study time and God is stirring some thoughts in me. I read this verse in context this morning and I was struck by this thought.

God spoke these words through Jeremiah to a people who were already in Babylonian exile because of their repeated disobedience.

Every time I hear this verse used, it is one of those “feel good” verses. What’s interesting is that God gives Jeremiah this message to counter the feel good message that some false prophets are giving the people. They are promising a short exile…but God says ‘No, you are in exile because you disobeyed. Go ahead and build houses and plan to stay a long time. I told you this was coming, BUT don’t give up hope. You’ll be here 70 years. You won’t even be alive when I fulfill this promise, but I will fulfill it in your children – not because you are good, but because I am good’ (my words).

There are consequences for our actions. Some are major and others are less overt. But there are always consequences. Remember that the Lord is using you and me for the exclusive purpose of bringing Him glory. He always has a plan for a future and a hope, to bring good not disaster…but first there may be a season of preparing, or perhaps even discipline.

But we can be thankful that his faithfulness is based on God’s character and not our own.

“So I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter’s hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do.” – Jeremiah 18:3-4 (ESV)

I am so often tempted to resist.

My default nature is to reject, often violently, character development and changes to my basic nature.

It’s natural I suppose. As natural as sin at least.

Jeremiah has what most today would consider a miserable ministry. His was a ministry defined by harsh condemnation of Israel’s actions followed by a swift and thorough rejection of whatever it was he was selling that day. He was beaten and jailed for his actions. Yet, he cried to the Lord and said that he couldn’t keep silent. The message was like a fire shut up inside his bones!

This message in Jeremiah 18 is the most powerful section of Jeremiah’s ministry. Here, Jeremiah is telling Israel what God is trying to do.

Why are they so tempted to resist?

Why do they default to rejecting, often violently, the changes God is trying to orchestrate in them?

It comes natural for them. As natural as sin anyway.

Maybe we’re not all that different. Maybe God is trying to work something beautiful in me and in you and we keep spoiling ourselves in the potter’s hand.

God is always all-good all the time. He is reworking us ‘as it seemed good to the potter to do‘.

Why are you fighting that?

While my training has been getting more intense, so has my appetite! I may be the only person who can actually gain weight while working out as much as I am.

I am ready to compete in the event today, BUT I would do so with some unneeded baggage weighing me down. On May 13, I stepped on a set of scales and I had reached 245 lbs! YIKES!

I had this very startling revelation that day. Why am I carrying extra weight that only makes my task more difficult and will hurt my performance? So I decided to do something about it! I have adjusted my caloric intake and along with training as of yesterday (June 9) I am down to 220 lbs. My goal is to hit 200 by race day.

This reminds me of an even more important spiritual principle. The writer of Hebrews said it best: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us” (ESV). Anther translation says the sin “that so easily entangles“.

We all face challenges in life. Some are excruciatingly difficult and we can’t do anything about them!

Others are merely distractions. They are things that don’t have to be there – but are. They are things we can control. These things are distractions. They are the “weight” this passage is talking about.

You can drop the weight.

Eliminate the distractions that take your eyes of following Jesus.

There is another more deadly enemy for the believer though. This passage also talk about sin that clings so closely and so easily entangles.

This can be deadly. These are not mere distractions. They are the things that have no business in the life of a believer. These can kill your spiritual life.

To extend the metaphor, it would be like me swimming with my hands and feet bound, or biking while carrying a baby grand piano, or running with a can of nitro glycerin! All of these are deadly!

So is sin.

It robs you of your joy. Kills your spiritual senses making you dead to hearing from the Holy Spirit. And it will destroy your testimony and effectiveness for the gospel.

Jesus said ‘the thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy but I came that you might have life more abundantly‘ (paraphrase).

So drop the weight. It’s killing you.

Besides, what Jesus offers is so much better!

I tweeted this the other day: “I’m excited about the future. But I’m excited about today too. Don’t miss the journey!”

I began thinking about Abraham and this encounter he had with God when the world was only 11 chapters old:

Genesis 12:1-2

Now the LORD said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing.

Here’s two quick thoughts.

#1 - God absolutely kept his promise to Abraham. He delivered on his end in a BIG way! Ultimately, we have Jesus coming through this lineage God promised Abraham.

#2 – Abraham never arrived at the destination God promised…for him, it was all about the journey. He caught glimpses like birthing a child in his old age, but his was a walk of faith planting seeds that would not germinate for years – and some for centuries – to come.

It is so easy to focus on where we are going that we miss the beautiful nuances contained within the journey. Conversely, we can be so bogged down in the temporary pain or difficulty of the moment that we forget God always keeps his promises. He has promised to ultimately work all things out for good for his children.

This is one of those posts that has many applications. I hope it gives you some encouragement today!

To Revolution Church, I just want to remind us all that while there is always more to come…I am honored to serve with you and to make the most of every moment we have on this journey together.

Everyone these days seems to have an idea on how to build community. While I certainly think there are ways to encourage and facilitate this, I am leaning more and more toward the view that community is not something you build so much as you experience.

We began to hold weekly services at Revolution Church in September of last year. At that time the several families that made up the core of the church were from all over the spectrum geographically speaking! Seriously, some of them had to stop for gas on the way in! My great fear was that this distance would hinder us from being able to build community among fellow believers.

What surprises me today is the community I felt so compelled to “build” is actually being “experienced” as a natural extension of the commonality we share as believers. Relationships are growing regardless of age, race, gender or socioeconomic factors.

One primary reason for this seems to be the ability to share the deeper and more private things that are going on in the course of life. Galatians 6:2 says we are to bear each others burdens. Today, we are able to do that as an entire church. As we grow, this function will necessarily become a function of smaller units (probably community groups) since it becomes impractical when the size of the church increases.

What we are experiencing at Revolution is a beautiful boiler plate for the future since we began as a small group.

Community has not been created. Community exists among believers. We just need to get out of the way and allow relationships room to grow.

I’d love to hear your thoughts…

I am finding myself in one of those times right now and it is altogether beautiful and entirely terrifying at the same time. God is stretching me in areas of faith and stirring my spirit to seek Him for a fresh experience.

Paul compares the life of the believer to an athlete (1 Cor 9:24-26 and 2 Tim 2:4-6). Just like an athlete experiences the pain of training as muscles are stretched to new boundaries, so the believer encounters similar discomfort as the spiritual muscles are taken beyond the last point they were tested. Without this component, there is no growth.

You can maintain. But you cannot grow.

Growth requires stretching. It demands it.

So stop resisting. Lean into the new challenge in front of you. Engage the contest before you knowing it is the very doorway to your growth.

Henry Blackaby said it is impossible for your faith to grow unless God takes you beyond the point your faith was last tested (paraphrase). We so often pray for God to get us through something when what we ought to pray is God grow me through this.

“He said, Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them. Then Elisha prayed and said, O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see. So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.” – 2 Kings 6:16-17 (ESV)

If we only knew the power that is really behind us, there is no limit to the things we would attempt to do for God!

So often, we are like the young man with Elisha that can only see with our natural eyes and refuse to exercise our spiritual eyesight to see beyond the physical limitations that cause us to quiver and keep us from conquering.

This man couldn’t understand how a prophet and his band of supporters could withstand the thrashing that the King of Syria was about to unleash on them. If they were an army with weapons…maybe – but this was just a preacher with some loyal followers! All they had were some scrolls and maybe a donkey or two. But when the Lord opened his eyes, he could see that God had dispatched a massive and powerful force to protect Elisha and his mission!

When God is behind a work, there is no force, on earth or otherwise, that will keep it from accomplishing what God has purposed!

That’s good news for the Church today!

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” – Eph 3:20-21 (ESV)

That’s good news for you too! What is it God is asking you to do for him? Look around you. You have an ARMY to go into battle with you.

From Matt’s own comments, you can see the grace with which he is facing this. In one of his Twitters yesterday he said “Path report is 2ndary at best…good report doesn’t mean much, bad report doesn’t mean anything…my days r numbered and n0t by ths report”. The video he posted prior to surgery is amazing! You can view it on the church’s blog here.

I do not know Matt personally, but I consider him to be a hero of my faith. I have only heard him live twice, yet because of technology, he serves in a pastoral role to me. As a 36 year old husband, father of three, and pastor of a church plant, I feel connected as many of you who read this will feel connected to Matt and his family.

With everything within me, my heart’s desire is that God would heal Matt of this horrid malady called cancer and that the world will have the treasure of trustworthy dispensation of the Word Matt so faithfully offers.

“Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health,
as it goes well with your soul.” – 3 John 2

My comfort and joy comes in knowing that whatever course this journey takes, God will be glorified and the gospel will be declared. That is already happening!

I was sick yesterday as I learned the results from the doctors and deeply saddened by the news. Today I reflect on the goodness of God and the beauty of His ways. Ways I do not understand. Ways I cannot understand. Yet ways I know to be best – even and especially when they don’t seem so.

“This God—his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD proves true;
he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.” – Psalm 18:30

Special Prayer

On Sunday, December 27, Revolution Church will devote a segment of time to pray specifically for Matt’s healing. We confess that Jesus is eternally the same (Heb 13:8) and with only a word he still heals today (Matt 8:8). I am inviting other pastors, church leaders, teachers, and volunteers to join us in prayer that morning at your places of worship. We have seen remarkable displays of God’s power when the Church agrees and comes together in unity and we expect nothing less here.

“Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him” – James 5:14a

I’ve been wrestling with this thought since I heard a guy say something similar recently:

Remember, the place you are today that once stretched your faith and offered you blessing will one day become a place of disobedience if you fail to take the next step of faith God is calling you to.

Wow.

It seems whenever God is really blessing a particular work, one of the biggest “arguments” I hear is that there is little depth.  That’s probably fair considering our misunderstanding of what it means to be “deep”.

This is not a post about what people really mean when they say that…even though it usually has more to do with a teaching style than anything else.  It’s actually a very shallow comment made by shallow people who are more loyal to a three point alliterated expository preaching style that Jesus, or the apostles for that matter, never modeled.

Real depth is measured in baby steps and giant leaps. It is more about ongoing sanctification than accruing more knowledge that we don’t apply anyway.

Real depth is about obedience. Yesterday’s obedience can become today’s disobedience. Depth is progressive…we grow deeper as we walk in obedience. The only step of faith that really matters is your next one!  Spiritual depth is not a destination we arrive at, but a journey we commit to.

Real depth involves sacrifice. Jesus loves us sacrificially.  Why should our response be any less?  Many of us live lives completely devoid of sacrifice.  Our walk with Jesus should cost us something, shouldn’t it?

This is not popular speech. We want the gospel to be attractive and draw people in.  We want a Jesus who hangs quietly on the cross but is raised in rapturous glory in the resurrection.  We embrace the Christ who liberally provides for and blesses his followers but we dismiss the humble, foot-washing, servant Jesus.

The thing is, He is both of those and much more.  Think about that the next time you or someone else says “I just want to go deeper…“

• On one occasion, God told Moses to strike the rock…another he was to speak to the rock.
• God moved the Israelites out of harms way with a protective covering over the doorposts…days later he moved an ocean to escape harm!
• Paul and Silas praised & worshipped and God opened the prison doors…Stephen worshipped through obediently sharing God’s message and God opened the windows of Heaven to welcome Stephen home.

Here’s the common theme: God received glory in each and every circumstance!

Just because God did it one way in the past doesn’t mean that’s how He will do it today. The key is to stay in perfect step with God’s heartbeat and trust in the Maker NOT the method. Sometimes He will lead us away from difficult circumstances, while others He will place us in them. One thing is certain…God will ordain the situation to see that He receives the most glory. The rest is just part of the narrative God uses to accomplish his purpose.

Are you tuned to His divine prerogative?

Yesterday marked the 40th anniversary of Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin’s historic walk on the moon (conspiracy theorists please refrain from commenting).

What began as a vision to get to the moon inside of a decade, cast by President Kennedy when there was no indication we had the ability to do it, ended in the realization of that dream and a day forever etched in the history of mankind marking the day we first set foot on a world outside of our own. It continues to inspire people today to pursue that dream.

I wonder about the first time either of those men dreamt they would ever set foot on the moon? Did they know they were paving the way for 5 more US missions to the moon? Did it keep them up at night? Did they grow impatient and wonder if the opportunity would pass them by?

I don’t know what it feels like to dream of going to the moon. At least no more than the average person that thinks it would be pretty cool.

I do know what it’s like to have an unquenchable desire. I have experienced the burning intensity of a seemingly unattainable dream. I have felt the weight of a calling to do what God created you to do. I continue to feel all of these things.

When I think of the calling God placed on my life to start Revolution Church, I am both excited and terrified! That’s the thing about dreams. They require us to grow beyond where we are to where God wants us to be.

If it doesn’t require us to reach outside of ourselves and our limited abilities, it’s not a dream.

God called me to lead Revolution Church…and I dream about it constantly.

What’s the dream God placed in your heart?