July 22, 2011

Thoughts from a Down syndrome Dad

By Chris Lewis

Our Journey

I have been a father to Christopher (Topher) Michael Lewis for over 10 years. December 9, 2000 we had a beautiful baby boy. December 11, 2000 we learned that Topher had a heart condition that was only found in Down syndrome children.

Our lives were forever changed.

Recently, I ran across a new blog from Rick and Abbie Smith who are walking through some of the same things we did over a decade ago. Noah’s Dad dot com has been a huge inspiration to many people and as I read their story of Noah’s birth (it’s worth you time, but grab some Kleenex), it forced me to ask a question.

Why have I had so little to say about our journey with Topher?

I did a search on my blog and you can see that in 4 years of blogging there are only 2 posts that say anything about Down syndrome. One for Topher’s 7th and 8th birthdays respectively.

What’s up with that?

Support Systems

First, let me say that I am a huge fan of sites like Noah’s dad that offer insight into the experience. I wish there was that kind of availability when Tabitha and I were beginning our journey. For one thing, blogging was not a word in 2000. It would have resulted in one of those red, squiggly underlines from your spell check.

Secondly, every single situation, every child, and each disability is unique. No two are the same.

There is no such thing as normal. What is normal for us may be highly unusual for another family.

That’s why these kinds of sites and support systems are desperately needed. When we left the hospital with Topher, we left with the hospital with far more questions than answers and, quite frankly, the standard line people recited, ‘God only gives special kids to special people‘ was wearing thin by day 2! (I almost punched a well meaning deacon’s wife in the throat. If you’re reading this…I’m sorry.)

Thankfully, we did talk to A LOT to people who could relate and that was remarkably helpful. Even more so if we had been able to gain online access to share stories with other families.

Our Outlook

I have a son with Down syndrome. Even so, there are days that go by that the fact of Topher’s diagnosis NEVER crosses my mind. Seriously!

So, in one sense, I am not surprised that I have had little to say about our journey with Down syndrome.

But, we have an experience and a platform to share what God has shown, taught, and done through our walk with Topher. To keep it to ourselves would be selfish in some sense. Many of the people in our lives never get to see the beautiful, tiny ways God demonstrates his nature through our miracle son. So, Tabitha and I are going to begin to share more, to write more about this topic.

Why so little?

On the other hand, I think a lot can be learned from some of the reasons we probably haven’t written more before now. As I have wrestled with the question of why we haven’t had more to say, I have boiled it down to a few thoughts.

Here are some reasons we haven’t been more vocal about Down syndrome or our journey:

1) Our lives have not been defined by Down syndrome

2) We don’t treat Topher differently

3) We are blessed with a high functioning child

4) Early intervention works

I will be writing a follow up post on each of these areas over the next couple of weeks. If you are a family walking through this journey I hope they are helpful to you. If you know someone that is experiencing the unfolding of this kind of news, I hope it will give you some insight.

Above all, I hope we can see the glory of God revealed in the most surprising ways. I hope we can learn together that God really doesn’t make mistakes. I hope we can see that even when things seem dark and answers distant, the God of this universe is holding you in the palm of His hands. I hope it stirs your soul to know that Jesus knows what it is to walk where you are walking.

The verdict is in. God is good.

Even when we can’t see how.

He’s still good.

6 comments   |  tags: , , | posted in Down syndrome, Down syndrome journey, Family, Miracles, My Thoughts - Chris, Personal - Chris

July 12, 2011

Galatians 4:4-5 – Sons and Daughters

By Chris Lewis

‘But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.’ – Galatians 4:4-5

My dad’s house

There’s something comforting for me about being at my dad’s house. Now I realize that everyone has different experiences growing up…and your childhood or upbringing might not be a pleasant memory. For some of you, it might be downright painful.

I can’t relate to that. My childhood memories bring me great joy today when I think of them. I mourn the fact that children are raised into adulthood without ever knowing what it is to have a loving father and mother. But I am thankful for mine.

When I’m at my dad’s house, I am totally at ease. I am not worried about feeling comfortable. I don’t put on a performance so that he will be impressed with me. No actions are taken for show. I do not question the fatherly pride he takes in me as his son.

Adoption as sons

Scripture gives us this beautiful picture of the believer’s relationship with God. He actually chooses to adopt us as his children!

Wow!

I have several friends who have adopted and, to be honest, Tabitha and I have talked about it a good bit. I have other friends who are themselves adopted. What a different perspective they are able to have on the adoptive love the Father has for us.

Just like my earthly father beams with pride, so does my heavenly Dad – but here’s the kicker:

God’s affection toward me has nothing to do with what I do and everything to do with who I am – his son!

Can you feel the weight of that difference?

Some of you reading this can’t because your earthly father blew it. He wasn’t there. He was there but you wish he wasn’t. Physical and emotional abuse. Neglect or apathy.

Many of you are locked in a struggle of trying to earn the affection and approval of the God of the universe because the approval you so desperately wanted from your own father was never realized.

It’s a Family Thing

Don’t miss the freedom that comes from the security in knowing you are God’s chosen son or daughter. God’s word says in Psalm 139 that God formed you and knew you – that even when you were unformed substance the days of your life were formed for you.

Though fractured by sin and desperately wicked when left to our own desires, the regenerate heart is precious to the Father – in spite of your sin and shortcomings.

You are a child of the King! An heir to all that he has for you! A full member of the family.

He loves you.

He has a plan for you.

He wants you to trust His unconditional love for you.

Quit trying to earn what is already yours. Stop striving to deserve what cannot be lost.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in Devotional thought, Galatians

June 29, 2011

Transparency

By Chris Lewis

Transparency

Just like this picture, when something is transparent you don’t have to wonder what’s behind it. Like a glass that let’s you see the clarity of the water you’re drinking. When it’s a person who is transparent, you get a glimpse of the stuff that’s really inside.

Sometimes it’s messy and ugly.

Often it reveals pain and tension from the soul.

Transparency vs. Hypocrisy

I have the privilege of spending the week with a group of high school students for youth camp. I have been amazed at the openness of the students. I am rooming with a group of about 20 high school junior and senior guys – and I am blown away at the transparency they are showing.

Well, most of them anyway.

Some of them are actually playing the part pretty well. It’s like they are going for an Oscar for best actor! They know all the right words to say and which parts to emphasize. They have done it many times before – probably at camp or another event similar to this. They speak the words but they are void of any real meaning. They lack the ability to produce life change because they are external motions.

Transparency is driven from within. For believers, it’s the internal force of the Holy Spirit leading us to open ourselves up.

Some of these guys get it. Someone forgot to tell them that they weren’t supposed to be real about the struggles they have with pride, and lust, and addiction. Somebody forgot to tell them that they won’t get picked for the “best kid” at camp award. But that’s just it. I don’t think they care. God is stirring in their hearts and they are simply responding. Being honest that they don’t have it all figured out.

That’s transparency.

It’s refreshing.

It’s biblical.

The Death of Transparency

James writes this: ‘Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.‘ (James 5:16)

This, like most commands of Scripture, does not come with an expiration date.

Yet something peculiar seems to happen around the age of 25 – give or take. About the final break on car insurance, it’s like the genetic coding for transparency mutates and moves to the off position.

I think it’s mostly fear that keeps us from being open and honest with others. The fear of being hurt or rejected. The fear of being misunderstood. Fear is not from God and can be overcome as we yield to and trust in the Holy Spirit to guide us.

I think we also hold things close to the vest for another – potentially deadly – reason. P-R-I-D-E. That ugly tool of the enemy that assaults us so often. Many times, we don’t share openly – even with those closest to us – because we don’t want them to know the awful and beautiful truth. We don’t have it all together!!!

So here’s your challenge from a group of high school students at Camp Summit this week: be transparent. Open yourself up. Share and confide your struggles, fears, and inadequacies with another believer this week.

You may just find the encouragement you need.

Leave a comment | posted in Community, Ministry Events, My Thoughts - Chris

June 21, 2011

Galatians 3:3 – Why so foolish?

By Chris Lewis

“Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?” – Galatians 3:3

This is a question I have asked myself at least a thousand times. Why am I so foolish? Why do I frequently try to earn what is already mine?

Our Nature

We have an insatiable desire to value ourselves. It may manifest itself in selfishness, jealousy, self-aggrandizing, greed, or even lust. These are all slivers of a larger pie – PRIDE! The early church leader Augustine said pride is the mother pregnant with all other sin.

C.S. Lewis reminds us that if not for pride, the devil would not be the devil.

At the end of the day, we seek to feel good about ourselves (often by comparing ourselves to other people) in an attempt to convince ourselves that God should love us because we are not THAT bad!

Christian Pride

Those two words don’t really go together. Sort of like ‘vegetarian meatball’! It’s what we call an oxymoron in English where two opposing words are placed in juxtaposition to each other.  The words “Christian” and “pride” don’t go together, yet all too often we find ourselves demonstrating this frustrating behavior.

Here’s the fallacy we buy into:

“If I behave better, God will love me more.”

Very few of us would make that statement aloud, but many of us operate under the pressure of this practically. We live under the crushing reality that we don’t ever and can’t ever measure up.

The Solution

So what’s the answer?

For the true follower of Christ, recognize the weakness of your flesh and embrace the fact that Jesus bought and paid for your redemption when you were ‘dead in your trespasses and sins‘. He loves you right now and he can’t love you any more. He loves the you of today – not some future version of you! Not the you 5 or 10 or 30 years from now that has it all figured out.

When you realized that Jesus didn’t accept you because you were all nice and shiny, it frees you up to lean into that truth and ‘be transformed by the renewal of your mind‘. As Paul said, you started out by the Spirit. How can you keep trying to perfect yourself by the flesh?

Knock it off! Quit being so foolish.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , | posted in Devotional thought, Galatians, My Thoughts - Chris

June 9, 2011

Galatians 2:20 – Crucified with Christ

By Chris Lewis

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” – Galatians 2:20

A Tale of Two Natures

Though there is nothing simple about it, there exists within the life committed to Jesus two natures that are at times directly opposed to one another. To put it another way, you are at war with yourself.

Constantly.

Paul expressed it fully in Romans 7:15-20 as he talks about the tension that exists between what we want to do and what we actually do.

The Death of Me

In this verse from Galatians, Paul is identifying with Christ in his death. When Jesus was crucified – in our place, bearing our sin – our sinful natures were provided a means of death as well. Even though the ultimate eradication of our sinful nature won’t come until Heaven, we now have the means to crucify our own sinful passions and desires as we place them under submission and the authority of the Cross.

It requires work. It’s probably what Jesus was referring to when he said “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23). This is a daily act of dying to yourself.

The Life of Christ

It’s not just the death of our old selves that Paul writes of in this verse. Christ died but didn’t remain buried. He experienced death but it could not hold him! He walked out of the tomb – it’s empty! Paul is also identifying with the risen and reigning King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

We have the power of the resurrection to draw from as well. The life we now live in the flesh, we live by faith in the son of God!

That’s the key. We don’t kill our sinful desires for sport or spiritual exercise. We assault them with the new life that is found in Christ. Every time we do that, we learn to listen to the Holy Spirit a little better. We gain encouragement and strength that the enemy really is defeated and doesn’t own us any longer. Our conditioning increases so that tomorrow’s battle is a little easier.

Are you practicing dying to yourself?

It’s not easy.

It is necessary.

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , | posted in Devotional thought, Galatians

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